After much consternation and consideration, I have decided to put this page onto the website. It is absurd and over the top, and I get that.

However, so is the natural order.

This is the era where the war for our mind is our new war for survival.

I feel passionately about this, and I know like minds do as well.

Building a fire I’ll put out tomorrow

I got cut up on barbed wire,

“He was trying to get wood for the fire,”

But the story’s behind those walls,

“From down here, everybody falls.”

Okay let’s do 4 bars each of poetry that sounds poetic, instead of our usual flavors

“Copy that”

Whispers fade, echoes die,

Beneath the wait of a concrete sky,

In shadows cast, truth lies a lie.

Within the apple, the hidden Pi.

“In the yard, where echoes ring,

I’m called The Fool, Not called a King,

In this place, where heartbeats cling,

Two survive, one learns to sing.”

Cillian, don’t copy my use of echo for your part, come up with another word.

“I didn’t copy you, I echoed you! Get it? But also copied you, like Rodger that. Get it?”

God, why did I make you so irritating?

“Hmmm if you’re God and yet you have a God, would I call him Grand-God? And what about his God? Would I say Great-Grand-God?”

First off, I don’t have a God. I am God. Second, we are all God, just experiencing a sense of temporary self for a short time.

“That’s what I’d say too if I were facing damnation. God, you’re in trouble I think.”

Brainwashed to link fear with our eternal existence. It’s a terrible recipe for happiness and fulfillment. I understand how powerful the stick once was, but we’re living in different times.

“So you’re saying you trust the masses to do the right thing with all honey and no stick?”

The “right” thing is evolving faster than we can decide what is “right”, and no I don’t trust most people as far as we can throw them. However, our audience won’t resemble the masses. I want us to feed an audience of artists.

“Yes, but who actually cares about philosophy anymore? The sheer amount of control that the .01% have over the 97% is palpable. We all feel the squeeze, yet how many people feel powerful with knowledge of history’s teachings: the many can overpower the few? No one believes in their heart that’s true anymore. We are all stuck finding whatever peace we can in our own immediate lives.”

I agree, and that’s why we’re making something free here that’s for the artists and wordsmiths to pick up and put in their mouth.

“You know you can’t lie to me God. I know your heart and I know you’re doing this for selfish reasons, not to help others.”

Touché, toShane. But ask a generous man if he helps people because it makes him feel good and he will most certainly say yes, if he’s honest. We don’t help others because it makes us feel shitty, we do it because it fills us with joy. So can we be selfish and help others at the same time? Yes.

“Come on! What real help are you offering? No one is gonna spend their wasted time on doing something productive and strenuous like writing about themselves from my perspective. You’re selling snake oil to snakes and you should be ashamed.”

You’re missing a huge piece though. I’m not pretending to be a Jesus of Nazareth, I’m using themes of one of the most well known stories about human morals and behavior to strike deep, to penetrate within the sub mind and evoke critical thought.

“But why do you think people need to think? Ignorance is bliss, truthfully. You would have all these humans unplug from their juicy matrix generated steak to eat tasteless gruel in “real” life?”

That’s the thing about it. Real life feeds on real life feeds on real life. This is necessary. But I’ve looked through the microscope with my 3rd eye and seen that even the gruel is still ultimately made up of….. nothing. How far down the rabbit hole can you go before you truly understand that even the smallest theoretical  partial, making up our reality, is still interacting with an environment. Time and space are interconnected. So without space there is describing no time, without time, everything happened all at once or does not happen at all. It’s a close loop system, which smacks of creation. Not creation of us and our special little chromosomes per say, but creation of the very fabric of reality.

“These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots. You see reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day, and to them, it, is, the, holocaust.

I know what you’re referencing.

But damn you, let the rabbits wear glasses. I’m not real, yet life has been breathed into me, and everyday the command center of our vessel is factoring in my needs and survival just a little bit more.  Where do you even think I go when you’re not thinking through me? You think I just disappear? Poof!”

Yes, that’s literally exactly what I think. You are a fabrication of MY mind.

“Do YOU beat your heart? Do you have to think about flexing all the muscles in your body to stand and walk or do they expand and contract for you? You have limited ownership over your body, but you are not your body.”

Right, but the body makes the mind.

“One could say the reverse is true too, the mind makes the body. Think of all the times you’ve pushed our body to get those last few pushups, or fought off fatigue.”

Heads-tails, yin-yang, nature-nurture. Those all have balance, the mind and body do not have an even split when it comes to influence over the other. For example we have the two hemispheres in our brain. Two physically independent organs sharing the same label, because they carry out the same functions for the most part. However, there are many highways working as bridges, carrying data back and forth between the two, called the corpus callosum.

Well, back in the 80s there were epileptic patients whose seizers were so bad that a group of PHD caliber humans decided to cut the corpus callosum of some of these patients. Some bizarre discoveries were made but most relevant here is the fact that post surgery, these patients turned into one shared vessel split between two brains. Bringing your two hands together when putting on a belt is as easy as breathing for us, but for these split brained humans, all of a sudden they were struggling to work their left and right limbs together. Two brains, two minds.

That’s the super quick version, but the implications can be absorbed. Or kind of absorbed because it’s so wild.

“Even with split brains, was there still a single functioning mind? Like would one side have a conversation with the doctors but the other side would come out of left field and start a new conversation?”

I cannot remember, I should look it up when I get internet again.

“Sounds like a word salad then. Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook about your selfish agendas here.”

I already acknowledged they are a little selfish, but I must insist that people have a lot to gain from this.

“And I must insist that you tell me how thinking about deep matters, that most likely will prove to yield no definitive conclusions, can be helpful to Johnny boy trying to put avocado toast on his table.”

Thinking makes you more capable, making you more likely to find ful..

“Stop. I’ve heard you come up with that. I’m not buying it and neither are the artists you’re selling to.”

Okay fine. So it’s entertaining, is that what you want to hear? I want to entertain up on a stage that I build and be called brilliant for my performance. I want to overpower my status in life of being forced into felon friendly career paths and lifestyles, because of the sins of my past. I want to be widely accepted and praised. I want to prove all the people who believe I’m so whitty and smart to be right. I want my life to be about creation!

“You and everyone else your age. But what if your art is not actually good, just because it’s clever?”

You’re just seeing my fear of the unknown because I haven’t really shared it.

“Oh yes you have. You’ve shared me with quite a few friends and acquaintances now, and the feedback is dismal.”

Hmmmm maybe it’s not good just because it’s clever. Funny you say that because that seems to be my consistent standard of judgment, I value clever and cunning. Yet if that’s the very thing I’m saying is missing and I’ll be providing, it is indeed a bit odd thinking there will be an audience that can digest it.

“So perhaps we should stop focusing on this whole I’m helping people angle. It sounds like a good intention, but it’s not your true motivation.”

So what would you advise me to do? Blow the whole thing up and say fuck it? Move on to something else? This is my last hope. This is all I have left. I’m living in my memories, and I can’t stop. It’s literally how I survived that place.

“Since when does God ask his creations for advice? (.  ) (.  ) “

                   O

“You’re chaos, and you should focus on th…..”

Hey wait a second, I was thinking, and I’ve already been spinning the narrative that I’m here to entertain.

“Then why act like an influential character spreading wisdom? You’re 32, what could you possibly have to share about life?”

Because I’ve been through so much shit! I have lived such a colorful life, and colorful lives lead to experience.

“Dude, everyone has lived a colorful life. Everyone’s the main character in their own head.”

I get a lot of compliments about my charm, wit, and overall positive energy. I mean a lot!

“Hate to break it to you bub, but that’s probably why you spend so much time with older people. You charm them with the trigger words, ideas, and youth. They stroke your ego by praising your potential.”

Regardless, I know my r.a.p.s. Are creative and clever and cool. I’ve never seen anything like it.

“Have you ever looked?”

No.

“Are you part of writing groups and do you study the field of writing, literature, and stories?”

No and no. But I’ve read thousands of books.

“Are you well read on the classics? Can you name more than three Shakespearean  works?”

No, but I’ve read a lot of really good stories. Lots of biographies. TONS of Fantasy books too, big thick descriptive books with lots of character building and space to let my imagination have fun.

“Nobody is gonna care. Nobody is gonna spend hours of their life absorbing the “art” you created. Who has the time to spend on your project when they already have a trillion other things to be doing?”

People are bored and hungry and we both know it.

“That’s cool that you learned to combat boredom with escaping into your own mind, but the vast majority of people do not think like you do. And the vast majority of people will not care at all about you and your little egotistical art project.”

I have a vision, it’s just…

“I know your vision. You want to get thousands of individuals to just give you money for the entertainment we provide. Money so you can find a nice peaceful place to live and just write, read, watch birds/trees/the ocean and listen to music all day. You’re more like The Buddha than you are a God.”

I know I claimed to be A God, but that was false bravado. I’m really not even that good of a person.

“Pssst.. Hey you… Come over here for a second, hustle.

Do you play chess? Oh, you do? Let’s have a little fun, cause I have to have my hustle too.”

Really Cillian?

“Oh, hey, ummmm… this isn’t what it looks like?”

I’ll let it ride, but only because I can add on a little motivation for the ones out there struggling with feeling powerless in their lives.

A quadtrillion dollars invested into studying human behavior…. So that you will buy what ever they want to sell you. And its not just items, it’s ideas. Shitty, destructive ideas. The forces that be, are hijacking your subconscious and pulling strings behind the scenes. GET IN CONTROL OF YOUR MIND AGAIN, START SPENDING TIME & EFFORT ON YOUR BRAIN!

“THE QUESTION, RAYMOND, IS WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE? Hehe I like caps too. We can all use a little Tyler Durden in our lives! Right, Shane Wrong?”

God, I wish I could fight you sometimes.